Hello sluts!!

It’s been so awesome to connect with fellow NeuroKinksters in NeuroKink Academy via coaching as the course is now on demand!

Thank you to those who have come to say hello or to gain insights. Thank you also to my regular clientele who have continued their sessions in 2026 & honoured their contracts with me.

I have enjoyed immersing myself in the research & practical insights & using this to write my book on autistic sexuality, with speakers & attendees alike sharing their key takeaways. Using insights from coaching & sessions to inform the book I’m working on… people have been so generous in sharing their experiences & that’s been genuinely valuable!

Over the past few years, I’ve attended a lot of sex tech, bdsm, neuroaffirming, disability-adjacent events, online & off. I’ve presented, toured, maintained profiles, & facilitated in-person, as well as hosted my own events ‘Bizarre Salon’ & ‘Try Bi’ at Fetish House. The main thing I’ve taken away from all of it is, is not what you might think… discernment.

I mean, knowing where to put energy & knowing what actually matters versus what just looks like it should.

As I continue unmasking as a late-diagnosed AuDHDer & Dominatrix, I’ve been rebalancing. What I have learned from doing events & in-person facilitation & BDSM sessions, as well as advertising with certain directories, is this discernment I’ve discovered. The ability to see beyond the surface-level, & to develop a deeper awareness of things.

Some things have quietly lost their priority status:

• I no longer am catching every femdom or sex worker event, presentation, party, or networking night
• I’ve moved on from “fan girling” or following speakers uncritically. I’m more interested in their values, who they platform, who they don’t
• Touring regularly. The prep load is significant & I have other work I’m not willing to sacrifice for it. An occasional tour is enough!! Plenty, in fact!
• Content output for its own sake. You’ll find old photos on my profiles & that’s fine. I’m not an influencer & I have no interest in performing like one (including paying for underqualified photographers with overpriced rates)
• I now say ‘no’ to directories that scrape content or operate without accountability to workers. I don’t support those & I’m not on them (as far as I know).

I’ve realised the value in looking deeper to what’s most important to me:

• Talking to those who seek me out or are curious about my resources & offerings
• Making time to catch up with peers, outside of ‘events’ or tours
• Transitioning smoothly back into work when I return home, without the need for recovery time (or risking burnout)
• Researching & writing my book
• Prioritising clients who are a joy to session with &/or coach. They make the process easy & delightful & it doesn’t feel like ‘work’.

Discernment. It’s never listed as a learning objective for SWer life, but I would 10/10 recommend it, particularly as an AuDHDer!

Either way, while I may not be as visible or prolific online, I am still here, & better than ever.

Kindest,

Miss Paz

XXX