The Importance of Systems and Policies: A Reflection on My Experience and The Bizarre Brand

Hello deviants,

***Trigger Warning: Sensitive Content***
This blog post discusses safety concerns within the industry, including experiences of stalking, assault, and violence. While these topics are shared to promote awareness and understanding, they may be distressing for some readers.
Please proceed with care, and prioritise your well-being. If needed, consider reaching out to a trusted support network or professional resource.

In every aspect of life; whether in personal relationships, professional settings, or within the context of my work: safety, mutual respect, and clear boundaries are foundational.

As someone who works in a space that values trust, communication, and consent, I’ve taken great care to establish terms and conditions that prioritise both my well-being and that of those I interact with.

Recently, I found myself in an unusual situation with a prepaid therapy appointment. Despite having already paid; a cost comparable to my own hourly rate of $500; I accidentally missed confirming the session (my fault) and forfeited the payment and session. This experience reminded me of the policies I’ve implemented in my own work and why they are essential.

In my 24 years as a professional, I’ve encountered a wide range of situations, some of which have necessitated the systems I have in place today. It may surprise some clients to learn that people often pay for services they don’t show up for; not just out of forgetfulness or changed plans but, in some cases, with the intent to stalk or intimidate. I cannot overstate how frequently this has occurred. My policies are designed with both safety and professionalism in mind, shaped by real-world experiences.

For the first time recently in my business, a client failed to confirm their booking in response to my reminder email and the established cut-off times. While this is rare, it’s important to note that confirmation is a crucial step in ensuring both parties feel secure and respected. Failing to confirm not only disrupts the flow of the session but also raises concerns, as I rely on these protocols to gauge intentions and maintain safety.

I understand that policies around deposits, cut-off times, and confirmations may feel rigid to some, but they are not arbitrary. They are the result of decades of experience and reflection, designed to protect both myself and my clients. Of myself and my colleagues being stalked and harassed. Just as I honoured the terms of my therapy appointment, even when it wasn’t convenient, I ask for the same respect and adherence in return.

I understand that some clients may feel affronted by my policies and exclaim, “But she’s seen me before! I would never do that!” However, I’ve learned through experience that safety cannot be compromised, no matter how familiar someone seems. Tragically, I’ve been stalked by a regular client in the past, and even worse, a close friend of mine in the industry was murdered by someone they trusted; a regular client.

These experiences have profoundly shaped how I approach my work. To protect myself and maintain professionalism, I have implemented a blanket rule to treat everyone with the same level of caution and respect, regardless of our prior relationship. This approach has served me well over the years, and I’m grateful that my regulars respect and understand why these measures are in place.

Safety is not negotiable. It’s the foundation that allows me to continue providing my services confidently and securely. Thank you to those who understand this and respect the boundaries and systems I’ve created; it means everything.

 

I think some clients don’t fully grasp why safety measures are non-negotiable in my work. Unfortunately, this industry isn’t just about fun and fantasy; it comes with real risks. I’ve had friends who were physically assaulted, and tragically, as mentioned, lost a friend, yes in Melbourne, in this line of work who was murdered.

These experiences stay with you, and they shape the way you operate. My systems; like requiring confirmations, deposits, and communication, aren’t arbitrary rules. They’re there because I’ve learned the hard way what can happen when you don’t put safety first. For me, these aren’t just policies; they’re survival tactics, based on nearly 25 years of experience.

So when a client feels entitled to ignore my boundaries or dismiss my safety concerns, it’s frustrating and frankly, alarming. If someone can’t respect the process, how can I trust them in an intimate and vulnerable setting? This is not a hobby; it’s my profession and my life. Respecting boundaries is the bare minimum.

Every system I’ve built has been informed by lessons learned and moments of growth. I remain committed to providing a safe, professional, and fulfilling experience for those who seek my services. Thank you to those who understand and respect the processes that allow me to do this work effectively.

***Why Safety Matters***
Safety isn’t just a buzzword for me: it’s a non-negotiable principle. In my work, whether in the realm of kink, as a fetish practitioner or personal relationships, the physical, emotional, and mental safety of everyone involved is paramount.

Without safety, trust breaks down, and without trust, there is no meaningful connection or experience.

Everyone who works with me or engages with my services deserves to feel safe, respected, and understood. In turn, I also deserve to feel the same in all interactions. I believe that clear communication and established boundaries create the safest possible space for us to explore, connect, and engage.

***My Terms and Conditions: Boundaries, Respect, and Clear Communication***

Here are the essential terms and conditions I adhere to, which serve to create a safe and respectful environment for all parties involved:

***Clear Communication Is Key***
I believe that all interactions should begin and end with clear, honest communication. If something feels off, uncomfortable, or not in alignment with my values, I will speak up. This includes boundaries; whether they’re physical, emotional, or intellectual. I expect the same from everyone I work with. If at any point during a session or communication something doesn’t feel right, I expect those involved to communicate openly so we can navigate it together.

***Respecting Boundaries***
Setting and respecting boundaries is essential. Whether we’re engaging in a professional exchange, personal interaction, or any form of play, all parties must feel comfortable and empowered to express their limits. If you’re not familiar with the concept of safe words, these are a part of my approach to maintaining a safe space during kink play.

If someone oversteps or disrespects boundaries; whether intentional or not-there will be a clear consequence. I expect anyone who engages with me to respect not only my boundaries but their own as well. Boundaries are always negotiable, but they must be respected.

***No Tolerance for Abuse or Aggression***
Mutual respect is a non-negotiable rule in my world. Aggression, verbal abuse, or manipulative behaviours will not be tolerated under any circumstances. If you cannot engage respectfully, the interaction ends immediately. If I feel that safety is compromised, I will walk away or block communication without hesitation.

***Consent Is Everything***
Consent is at the core of all interactions, whether personal or professional. If you’ve been in a situation with me before, you know that I don’t engage in any activity unless there is mutual and enthusiastic consent. No exceptions. This includes not only physical consent but also emotional and intellectual consent. If at any point you feel uncomfortable or uncertain about something, you are encouraged to communicate that: and I will respect it.

***Time and Space for Processing***
Sometimes, situations require time and space to process. If I ask for time to reflect, think, or simply take a break from communication, it’s not a reflection on you; it’s a necessity for my own mental and emotional well-being. I encourage this same practice in any relationship I engage in. Time for reflection ensures that decisions, boundaries, and actions are intentional and thoughtful.

***Mutual Respect, Always***
No matter the nature of the interaction, respect should be mutual. I aim to create an environment where both parties feel valued, heard, and understood. Whether we’re collaborating on a professional level, engaging in intimate moments, or simply sharing space, respect for each other’s autonomy, thoughts, and feelings is essential.

***Clarity and Transparency***
I’m upfront about what I offer, what my limits are, and what my expectations are. There is no hidden agenda: everything is discussed transparently and clearly. If you’re not sure about something, ask. I’d rather provide clarity from the outset than leave things up in the air. Transparency builds trust, and trust builds the foundation for everything else.

******How These Terms Protect Us All******

By laying out these terms, I am protecting myself and my clients, creating a safe and healthy space where everyone can feel empowered and respected. These terms are not arbitrary; they are designed to foster mutual understanding, respect, and trust in any interaction.

If you are engaging with me professionally or personally, I expect these terms to be respected, just as I will respect yours. Establishing clear and enforceable terms ensures that both of us can enjoy the experience and interaction without fear of discomfort, misunderstanding, or harm.

The key to any successful interaction, whether it’s in the realm of kink, professional collaborations, or friendships, is respect, communication, and consent.
These are essential principles that ensure both my safety and the safety of others. As I continue my work and engage with others, these terms and conditions are at the core of every decision I make.

If these terms align with what you’re looking for in a relationship: whether personal or professional, then I look forward to a mutual, respectful, and safe connection.
If not, I trust you’ll understand that it’s time for us to part ways, with no hard feelings.

My peace and well-being come first, and I encourage everyone to prioritise theirs as well.

 

Kindest,
Miss Paz
XXX

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